Its funny I though this was over this feeling this pain. Would it be wrong for me to say I feel more alive? I hate the pain the emotions I can't control, the tears that continue to fall, but all in all I'm okay <-- that's a lie see it there? Its buried, but its still there in person lying is survival. You lie to get through the day, you lie to live another day. When people ask how you are most likely its just talk they don't want to know they don't care. If someone asks and someone cares then they're are genuine they are real god they suck. Having someone see you without the veil without the mask someone see whats underneath it all what makes you the person you are its wonderful and awful all at the same time. When you can't hide behind the lies when you open yourself to the world let someone see what you hide let them in to your heart bare your soul much can happen. you can experience the most joy the world has to offer or you can be so hurt that nothing seems to matter. I have been hurt because the one person who seen me who knew me isn't here anymore. She is gone and she wont ever come back she was the only one to know everything every little thing and she isn't here anymore it breaks my heart and I thought I was done with this feeling thought it was getting easier somehow I think I was wrong I know it will get better its the only thing that keeps me going but its just..